Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Take These Buns and Shove It!

"A faithful man shall abound with blessings"  -  Proverbs 28:20

I am happy to report to you that I am starting to build up steam in my training program.  I am walking faithfully each day at least 3 miles.  I am getting a grip on healthy eating and have reduced my calorie intake.  My meals are mainly vegetables, protein and either grains or fruit.  I drink several protein drinks a day made with whey.  I take my vitamins, drink a green drink and drink plenty of water.  I have dropped a couple pounds and am starting to feel alot more energetic and clear headed.  I'm catching up Donna Deegan!  I can't wait to meet you at the starting line!

This past Sunday morning my girlfriend Debi and I headed to Jacksonville beach for a sunrise walk.  That day would have been my 34th wedding anniversary but God called my sweetheart home after a knock down-drag out battle with lung cancer that ended 7 months ago.  Debi and I made it to the beach just in time for a glorious sunrise with a picture-perfect sky.  Brilliant red clouds flanked the horizon as the sunlight peeked out from behind them.

Then suddenly as we strolled along, we looked to see a perfectly formed huge heart shaped hole right in the middle, with the sun shining through.  There was no "kinda looked like" to it.  It was a big beautiful heart.  Wonder who made that?  Then as we walked further we spotted a message in a bottle in the sand.  A folded piece of paper stuck out from a crack in the plastic bottle.  We couldn't resist.  We pulled it out and opened it.  There was the following hand printed poem written on the paper:

You Who Never Arrived
   You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of
the next moment. All the immense
images in me -- the far-off, deeply-felt
landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and
unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods--
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house-- , and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,--
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and,
startled, gave back my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same
echoed through both of us
yesterday, separate, in the evening...

Rainer Maria Rilke 

Haunting huh?  What do you think are the chances of finding a heart in the clouds and a message in a bottle with a poem about someone not being able to find the one they love?  Two miracles in one day - the anniversary of the day our two hearts became one.  I know that Johnny knows I keep searching for him and wondering where he is now.  He knows I still wake up each morning with an expectant heart looking for him in the form of blue butterflies.  I know he is trotting beside me each moment while I train for a glorious quest.  He would want me to be victorious.

I count my victories every six months at Mayo Clinic when I report for my cancer check-ups.  My next one is coming up in a few weeks.  This year I am 5 years cancer-free.  Thank you Lord that I am healed.  The victory is always Yours.  Now onward and upward to resurrection and becoming who I was born to be.   The starting line is where I'm headed that leads to the next beautiful chapter of my life.

Have a heavenly day!